This list is defunct. There are other lists on the subject, here's one:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lds-marriages
I hear so many complaints from men and women that they cannot communicate
with one another. Perhaps I am naive, but I do not understand this. Communication
is essentially a matter of conversation. They must have communicated when
they were courting. Can they not continue to speak together after marriage?
Can they not discuss with one another in an open and frank and candid and
happy way their interests, their problems, their challenges, their desires?
It seems to me that communication is largely a matter of talking with one
another.
But let that talk be quiet, for quiet talk is the language of love.
It is the language of peace. It is the language of God. . . . The voice
of heaven is a still small voice. The voice of peace in the home is a quiet
voice. (Gordon B. Hinkley "Cornerstones of a Happy Home," Husbands and
Wives Fireside Satellite Broadcast, January 29, 1984.)
James E. Faust - To Reach Even Unto You, p. 55
Complete trust in each other is one of the greatest enriching factors
in marriage. Nothing devastates the core of mutual love and trust necessary
to maintain a fulfilling relationship as does infidelity. There is never
justification for adultery. Despite this destructive experience, occasionally
marriages are saved and families preserved. To do so requires the aggrieved
party to be capable of giving unreserved love great enough to forgive and
to forget. It requires that the errant party want desperately to repent
and actually forsake evil.
One's loyalty to his or her eternal companion should not be merely
physical, but mental and spiritual as well. Since there are no harmless
flirtations and no place for jealousy after marriage, it is best to avoid
the very appearance of evil by shunning any questionable contact with another
to whom we are not married. Virtue is the strong glue that holds it all
together. Said the Lord, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart,
and shalt cleave unto her and none else." (D&C 42:22.)
This page describes the Acoin LDS-Marriage mailing list. The address of this page is http://www.acoin.com/lds-marriage/.
This list is dedicated to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who would like to work on having a better, healthier marriage within a gospel context. Many people (both member and non-member) struggle with having a more fulfilling marriage. This list will provide a safe haven for discussion of issues about marriage within an LDS framework. The focus is on figuring out the problems that may have contributed to your current situation and to solving those problems and moving forward with life. In addition, ideas for improving marriages that are already good will be shared. Both those in happy and unhappy marriages are welcome, although I suspect the focus will be on problem solving and building understanding of your partner.
Because church leaders have taught that discussions of private aspects of your marriage with others can lead to destructive mistrust within the marriage relationship, anyone who wishes to follow this counsel (and still discuss private matters) is encouraged to use an anonymous e-mail address and a nickname. Instructions for obtaining an anonymous e-mail address can be obtained here. If you feel that the Internet itself provides enough anonymity, you are not required to be anonymous. Avoiding intimate details altogether may also be an appropriate solution for some, although you should not judge others who do choose to share on this level. If you feel your spouse would disapprove of your joining this mailing list, carefully consider whether it is a good idea to do so.
Both members of the couple may join the list at the same time. In some cases, this might be very beneficial.
Anti-mormon sentiments are not appropriate nor welcome on this list. Abusive and/or overly argumentative posts will not be tolerated. Every post should be an exercise in following the teachings of Christ. Anyone violating these rules will be removed from the list, perhaps without warning if the violation is blatant enough. Because forgiveness is the balm of healing, please attempt to refrain from casting others, especially your spouse or other list members as evil. No flaming.
If your marriage is so far gone that divorce seems inevitable, please join another list, there are several listed on the lds-divorce page.
Only members of the list may post. There is no archive. List archival services may NOT subscribe. Privacy of list members should be respected at all times.
Discussions that are off topic will not be tolerated. The list is not moderated, but it is refereed. There are thousands of other lists for plenty of other topics. If a discussion is interesting to you, but off topic, take the discussion off list and correspond privately. Off topic posts include discussions of doctrinal issues not related to marriage, political discussions, announcements of piano recitals, non-marriage related jokes and the latest virus warning. On topic posts would include such things as understanding the thought patterns of the opposite sex, appropriate sexual relations in marriage, doctrinal discussions of temple marriage and other aspects of marriage covenants. Good patterns of communication will be encouraged. All members of the list should be striving to be better people.
The list is set up for private responses by default. If you want to reply to the entire list, use your e-mail package's Reply To All function rather than the simple Reply. While this may seem a bother, it makes sure that messages such as "me too" and "I really felt that way, thanks for posting" don't go to the entire list. Only those postings that might help more than just the original poster should go to the list. This will help keep the information to noise ratio as high as possible. Try not to quote the entire previous posting, only those parts that are relevant to what you are responding to. Do quote some of the previous posting so that some context is kept.
Bounced e-mail will result in your removal from the list. If you don't
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may post, you may test your membership by posting to the list. If it bounces
you have been removed.
The list is owned and maintained by Kelly Anderson.